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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (30692)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (3192)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14715) - you deserved it (36645)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (22140)
On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36871) - you deserved it (5665)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (4962)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (10421)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (38878)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44013) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58988) - you deserved it (6155)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:56am - intimacy - by footfood (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11744) - you deserved it (46133)
On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (7179)
On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)
Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (4892)
On 06/16/2011 at 10:43am - intimacy - by - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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