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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (4994)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13882) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23167) - you deserved it (7825)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34384)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7079) - you deserved it (29348)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66082)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (27559)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (40771)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53042) - you deserved it (3339)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50112) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (4338) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (2762)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22184) - you deserved it (25383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11922) - you deserved it (35835)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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