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longsweetminute

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longsweetminute
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  • Number of visits : 88
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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longsweetminute's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

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longsweetminute's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3884) - you deserved it (15042)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6327) - you deserved it (21275)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

#20132061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14385) - you deserved it (780)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm - health - by illjustlimpthen (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4145) - you deserved it (36213)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10573) - you deserved it (42395)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18243) - you deserved it (1367)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:48pm - misc - by peterpeterpumpkineater (man) - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13987) - you deserved it (4133)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15577) - you deserved it (1487)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (3202)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2158)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (6595)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (1785)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (1476)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British



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