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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lololol111

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lololol111
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3142
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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lololol111's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (42223)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (1226)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3486)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (37190)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (6143)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137078) - you deserved it (19620)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (37025) - you deserved it (8328)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68944) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141725) - you deserved it (53041)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (5585)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her : my 17 year old cousin. I went to my unoccupied parents’ bedroom. My sister's baby walkie talkie was on and the whole family heard me. FML

#37 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (16431) - you deserved it (72169)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML

#8 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (170548) - you deserved it (14292)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi-online -