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lolmylifeisajoke

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lolmylifeisajoke

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Visits<b>K410</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:23pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 7:11pm

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Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29705) - you deserved it (44644)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47498) - you deserved it (3914)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (4201)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (32265)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57568) - you deserved it (6015)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52537) - you deserved it (7655)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52836) - you deserved it (5240)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (3884)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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