This member hasn't filled in their description.
lolly_bags's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lolly_bags's favorite FMLs
Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML
by wheels / 02/25/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
by ripdivine / 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML
by ouagadougou / 02/24/2009 at 6:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
by allyshah / 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
by jessica / 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
by samrodpuertorico / 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by qwertyasdfghzxcv / 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by thunder thighs / 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML
by p00p_m0nsta / 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
by Flubber / 02/07/2009 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML
by Joey / 02/06/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (California) / Work
by lonely / 02/05/2009 at 10:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by banana / 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love