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lolly_bags's FML badges
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lolly_bags's favorite FMLs
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Love
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML
by Meagan smith / 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous
by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
by corasmom / 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
by sisi9999 / 07/25/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
by Men '86 / 07/24/2011 at 2:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…