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lolly_bags

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lolly_bags
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1586
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lolly_bags's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117088) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66628) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (6174)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (6531)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8561) - you deserved it (58541) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

#17032630
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (5529)

On 07/08/2011 at 8:03pm - health - by phillij2 - United States

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (2184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7151) - you deserved it (65721)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

#16999068
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (2549)

On 07/06/2011 at 10:52am - misc - by siighh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to sing a sweet lullaby to my two year old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

#16956898
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (4442)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:36am - kids - by dee - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (21326)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9282) - you deserved it (40795)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

#16725685
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (4113)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

#16718641
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9276) - you deserved it (39557) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)



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