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lolly_bags

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lolly_bags
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1599
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lolly_bags's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (1051)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (7315)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML

#19997829
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10173) - you deserved it (21181)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

#19997167
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16251) - you deserved it (2044)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6830) - you deserved it (15540)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32986)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2535)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

#19927767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (21979)

On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (1430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France



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