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lolly_bags's FML badges
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lolly_bags's favorite FMLs
by pigtails / 01/16/2013 at 7:21am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
by ChubbyButt / 01/16/2013 at 5:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 1:42am / Transportation
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
by deadhammy / 01/11/2013 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Animals
by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by UngratefulBrat / 12/28/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Intimacy
by spellbound / 12/19/2012 at 9:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
- Today, I was cooking dinner when I set off the fire alarm in my flat building. The neighbour from… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because…