This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (8029)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (7867)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (9960)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28821) - you deserved it (3917)
On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (11245)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (1914)
On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (3129)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (6943)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74974) - you deserved it (10598)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36186) - you deserved it (17627)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (16100)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview I went to cross my legs and realized I had on 2 different shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (14740)
On 07/10/2009 at 11:08am - work - by unemployed (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (8607)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49118) - you deserved it (6971)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (6781)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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