This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (4003)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10274) - you deserved it (24364)
On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (6927)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22285) - you deserved it (12714)
On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17423) - you deserved it (3059)
On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15268) - you deserved it (2352)
On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (2647)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (3363)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (2174)
On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (2174)
On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (7463)
On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (1933)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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