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lolle_p0p

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lolle_p0p

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 5651
  • Number of comments : 393
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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lolle_p0p's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41890) - you deserved it (3935)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (3841)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (18539)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you deserved it (8213)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41366) - you deserved it (4501)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (41896)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58374) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42459) - you deserved it (4582)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (12658)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47815) - you deserved it (4305)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (5254)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (7625)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46976) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48191) - you deserved it (16231)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)



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