This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13549) - you deserved it (1630)
On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24320) - you deserved it (7313)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13960) - you deserved it (2259)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (3123)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (4211)
On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (5343)
On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20785) - you deserved it (4375)
On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18107) - you deserved it (7240)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (1468)
On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (4526)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26649) - you deserved it (6231)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15096) - you deserved it (8039)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (7826)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (4441)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
