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lolle_p0p

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lolle_p0p

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  • Number of visits : 5009
  • Number of comments : 374
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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lolle_p0p's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (41834)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57930) - you deserved it (5169)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41835) - you deserved it (4511)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (12630)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (4286)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (5217)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (7614)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46854) - you deserved it (4359)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (16201)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (6323)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (3325)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56121) - you deserved it (9167)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (74461)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52630) - you deserved it (6120)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)



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