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Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38887) - you totally deserved it (2965)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you totally deserved it (5066)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13121) - you totally deserved it (39177)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had to rub my turtle's anus with a wet Q-tip, which is supposed to help with his constipation. I think he liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you totally deserved it (6270)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by haniii (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you totally deserved it (29286)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you totally deserved it (5909)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47592) - you totally deserved it (1878)
On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you totally deserved it (17638)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14203) - you totally deserved it (183529)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14892) - you totally deserved it (259443)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - work - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at my friend's younger brother's birthday party, who also happens to be deaf. His father gave him a bat and a blindfold and the boy started swinging away at what he thought was the pinata. Unfortunately, he could not see or hear anyone shouting to stop hitting his father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8947) - you totally deserved it (959)
On 01/21/2009 at 9:30pm - love - by where's the candy? - United States (California)
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