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lokiitababii69

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lokiitababii69
  • Town/Country : glen cove, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 September 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About lokiitababii69 : Finally Prince Charming & I are married

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lokiitababii69's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (5476)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (6677)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37239) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (5843)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12432) - you deserved it (24696)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (9554)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (23296)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2001)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

#17691759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (2365)

On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (9730)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14466) - you deserved it (50668)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (4186)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (3479)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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