Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lokiitababii69

Offline (the 03/16/2014 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

lokiitababii69

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 September 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1215
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About lokiitababii69 : Don't let my pretty face fool you cuz I roll like a boss....

lokiitababii69's page activity

Visits<b>JustABoredKid</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:00pm<b>arisadee98</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:43am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:59am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:42am<b>IdenarBWARGH</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:48am<b>daryllim95</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:54am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 7:09pm<b>Osmoses</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:06am<b>Goober244</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:32am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 1:35am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 3:01am<b>tdps</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:09pm<b>natas</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:26pm<b>Deresius</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 6:40pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 5:54pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm<b>Killa_Comin</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 3:24pm<b>erica0512</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 3:48pm

lokiitababii69's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lokiitababii69's badges

lokiitababii69's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (5152)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11443) - you deserved it (30744)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47273) - you deserved it (4377)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57409) - you deserved it (3106)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (5408)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13336) - you deserved it (169582)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (2376)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19192) - you deserved it (36754)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (2796)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (19225)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (47491)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36197) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (2560)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

#19363644
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (5001)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: