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Offline (the 03/16/2014 at 5:04am)



  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 September 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2685
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About lokiitababii69 : Don't let my pretty face fool you cuz I roll like a boss....

lokiitababii69's page activity

Visits<b>ebroks</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 7:20pm<b>emirenee</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:03pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:45pm<b>54MU31</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:50am<b>Isak366</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:46pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 3:56am<b>daryllim95</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:39am<b>JustABoredKid</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:00pm<b>arisadee98</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:43am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:59am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:42am<b>IdenarBWARGH</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:48am<b>Osmoses</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:06am<b>Goober244</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:32am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 1:35am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 3:01am<b>tdps</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:09pm<b>natas</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 7:26pm

lokiitababii69's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lokiitababii69's badges

lokiitababii69's favorite FMLs

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

by lils / 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy