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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (389859) - you deserved it (29783)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (383304)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (991298) - you deserved it (78899)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55614) - you deserved it (324361)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178277) - you deserved it (61508)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408735) - you deserved it (26498)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (223250) - you deserved it (37847)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10434) - you deserved it (21409)
On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4852) - you deserved it (37066)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2099)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (47719)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4871) - you deserved it (38933)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version
Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5377) - you deserved it (21248)
On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (4233)
On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (16199)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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