loki09

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loki09

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 July 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2442
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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loki09's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:52am<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:08am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:16am<b>LarissaT18</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:55am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:42pm<b>MimiKnox</b> - the 04/13/2010 at 7:51am<b>naeylon</b> - the 03/26/2010 at 11:35am<b>sintralin</b> - the 03/19/2010 at 11:40am<b>jes23</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 12:12pm<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 9:06pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 02/18/2010 at 3:13pm<b>QTp13</b> - the 01/21/2010 at 6:27am<b>07191995</b> - the 11/30/2009 at 8:41pm

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loki09's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2009 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

by marriedwithfamily / 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Connecticut) / Holidays

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous