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locustplague's page activity

Visits<b>jpat27</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 9:12pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 12:10pm

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locustplague's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52512) - you deserved it (2898)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:21pm - animals - by notwasted39 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52098) - you deserved it (24859)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60980) - you deserved it (330365)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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