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Today, I was sitting on my balcony reading a book. My upstairs neighbors thought that would be a good time to water their flowers. I'm now drenched in water, as is my book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24174) - you deserved it (2982)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to give his mother a box of chocolates and flowers for Mother's Day. She just stared at them and said, "What's this for? You're not my daughter, and never will be. But I'll keep the chocolate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38672) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/09/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (11867)
On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12371) - you deserved it (20500)
On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)
Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (4870)
On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85709) - you deserved it (10682)
On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (277073) - you deserved it (23330)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (247583)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44450) - you deserved it (17456)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91047) - you deserved it (7449)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36971) - you deserved it (7311)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by KS (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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