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lmfaowww

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lmfaowww
  • Town/Country : Wonderland, Congo
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2423
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lmfaowww : I'm a man with a plan, also a steady set of knockers. (´・ω・`)

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lmfaowww's favorite FMLs

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (3361)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12992) - you deserved it (62165)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50786) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

#3840283
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45403) - you deserved it (2926)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48883) - you deserved it (10162)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (2354)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655382) - you deserved it (48794)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328951) - you deserved it (35704)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183544) - you deserved it (27533)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218612) - you deserved it (28161)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)



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