Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

llyyeenn

Search for a member

llyyeenn

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 443
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

llyyeenn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of llyyeenn's badges

llyyeenn's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79755) - you deserved it (8242)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (7452)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27180) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (3686)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (4943)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (4200)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11993) - you deserved it (44774)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21591) - you deserved it (5553)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (4888)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

#20029882
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (4822)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (1916)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: