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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (61027)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (3689)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (17763)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36185) - you deserved it (17627)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (4356)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by isoheartcaitlin (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (5261)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (1387)
On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (122921)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7073) - you deserved it (46032)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92852) - you deserved it (6033)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15620) - you deserved it (56238)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46734) - you deserved it (3840)
On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55673) - you deserved it (3246)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (2040)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (4142)
On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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