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llamarrama01's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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llamarrama01's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML
by not jacked / 04/20/2016 at 7:35am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Kisuke_Urahara / 11/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous
by hobo / 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
by SupportPage / 03/31/2015 at 9:41am / United States (California) / Geek
by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek
by lulinator / 03/05/2015 at 11:30am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML
by MDoremis / 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 2:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love