This member hasn't filled in their description.
llamarrama01's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
llamarrama01's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML
by not jacked / 04/20/2016 at 7:35am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Kisuke_Urahara / 11/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 1:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous
by hobo / 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
by SupportPage / 03/31/2015 at 9:41am / United States (California) / Geek
by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek
by lulinator / 03/05/2015 at 11:30am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML
by MDoremis / 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML
by The Soul Of A Damned Queef / 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 2:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…