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lkrunner101's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by justnance / 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by mo / 12/19/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
by espylone / 12/17/2011 at 10:42am / France / Kids
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
by Janice / 11/07/2011 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
by DMStarsky / 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by anon / 10/11/2011 at 7:52am / United States / Work
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
by anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…