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lizadunce

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lizadunce
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  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (2604)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (2815)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (316477) - you deserved it (27864)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

#379076
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (437231) - you deserved it (61435)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (461826) - you deserved it (573704)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (7510)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16087) - you deserved it (5998)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (11487)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

#284
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15056) - you deserved it (27633)

On 11/12/2008 at 12:25am - work - by Lio - Sent from mobile version

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (55713)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version



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