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livelifehart

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livelifehart

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  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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livelifehart's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (5070)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55412) - you deserved it (9855)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (32415)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (43732)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (4329)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33487) - you deserved it (3525)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (45262)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

#18092758
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (5070)

On 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

#17716214
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30895) - you deserved it (3314)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (57404)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (4423)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (12340)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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