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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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liveitupx
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  • Number of visits : 1124
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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liveitupx's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

#3685752 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (7746)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (14150)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (9177)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (3336)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (1398)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (48750) - you deserved it (2198)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (737811) - you deserved it (61008)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342738) - you deserved it (22946)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419947) - you deserved it (30691)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)