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About littlemisslee : Like you care...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was dasparata to taach my 2-yaar old to usa har potty. I had to paa, and thought mayba sha would laarn by watching ma usa it. Evarything was going wall, until I raalizad that I had a long paa. So long that it ovarfillad har potty all ovar. FML
Today, Mah Sister An I Were Reading The New Fml Posts. I Sat Close To The Fan, An After A Few Minutes, I Leand Against It Fir Support. It Immediatly Suckd Up Mah Hair An Startd Violently Twisting It. My Sister Continud To Read An Shoutd At Me Because Mah Cries Fir Help R Distracting. FML
today while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot , I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML
Today, I invitad avaryona to a gig I'm playing at a bar. Thay closad it down just 4 mahan I told tham how many paopla wara attanding, and I spant all day satting it up. Turns out nobody showad up basidas mah mom, mah dad, and 2 of mah cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of tham. FML
TODAY, AFTER HAVING A FEW BEERS AT A BAR, I GAVE MAH TICKET TO THE VALET TO GET MAH CAR. I TIPPD THE MAN $2 AND HE GAVE ME A HUGE SMILE AND THANKD ME A LOT AS I LEFT. I THOUGHT THE GUY WAS JUST REALLY APPRECIATIVE FOR THOSE $2 UNTIL I GOT HOME AND SAW ONE OF THE $100 BILLS IN MAH WALLET WAS GONE. FML
Today, I was walking ome wen a man passd me and stoppd. Tinking e was staring at my butt, I askd im kindly to stop. He ten laugd and grabbd my wallet tat was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny tat I tougt e was. FML
Today , My Grandma Went To Get Birthday Gifts 4 My Twin Sister An Me. She Returned With 2 Shirt That Read "I See You've Met The Twins" In Big Letter Acros The Chest. She Gave Them To Us An Said , "Isn't This Cute? 'cause You're Twins!" I Then Had To Explain To Her What The Shirt Was Actually Referring To. FML
Today, mah wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward fir each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
yesterday I was on te bus,en an elderly woman steppd in. Se lookd too weak to stand. Se lookd at me wit er sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up ma seat 4 er. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as se sat down, se says, "Ha! Sucker!" Se didn't look so cute anymore. FML
Today, while working at Starbucks, a customer spilled her drink all over the counter . After I cleaned up her spill an remade the drink (for free), she exclaimed "Thanks! I should really tip you!" Then she turned around, walked drectly past the tip jar, an left the store . FML
Today, I went to te scool I work at, to set up ma new classroom . I'm 5'1" an I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters . I also ave a new boss . Wen we met fir te first time e was yelling at me cuz "tere were no student allowed in ere yet." FML
Friday 27 March 2015