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Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (4108)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (5292)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20358) - you deserved it (1701)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (1754)
On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States
Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (1373)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13108) - you deserved it (9498)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm - health - by memphis201 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19265) - you deserved it (1514)
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (2631)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (9459)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (6450)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (2351)
On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (27840)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (1973)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (3485)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14581) - you deserved it (6012)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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