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littlehomette's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by seriously?? / 02/04/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by calikola / 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by TheEnglishOne / 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
by f__k_it / 01/18/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…