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littlehomette

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littlehomette

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:47pm<b>malay96</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 10:26pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 7:24pm<b>Whatsittooya</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:38pm

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littlehomette's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122334) - you deserved it (22194)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234662) - you deserved it (81892)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281858) - you deserved it (51902)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (1773)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (67877)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59069) - you deserved it (7811)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (36602)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (24337)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (285607) - you deserved it (28223)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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