littlehomette

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littlehomette

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4895
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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littlehomette's page activity

Visits<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:47pm<b>malay96</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 10:26pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 7:24pm<b>Whatsittooya</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:38pm

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littlehomette's favorite FMLs

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

by Madagascar / 12/19/2009 at 5:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

by Frauded / 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm / United States / Love

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

by Kassiopia / 11/14/2009 at 7:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

by wtfrelationship / 10/21/2009 at 12:07am / Singapore / Love

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

by rebel_rose / 09/25/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

by seminole711 / 09/20/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML

by peter / 09/11/2009 at 12:33am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Miscellaneous

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

by badhairday / 09/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy