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littlehomette

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littlehomette

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2481
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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littlehomette's page activity

Visits<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:47pm<b>malay96</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 10:26pm<b>JefftheRipper</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 7:24pm<b>Whatsittooya</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:38pm

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littlehomette's favorite FMLs

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62123) - you deserved it (11978)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65851) - you deserved it (12652)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (7605)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43811) - you deserved it (6167)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20396) - you deserved it (51130)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (2675)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15993) - you deserved it (26301)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (2953)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16246) - you deserved it (34686)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35107) - you deserved it (7244)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (6055)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56191) - you deserved it (4521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16764) - you deserved it (28101)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)



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