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  • Number of visits : 1392
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About littlebluebox : Bowties are cool and I don't blink.

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50 favourites

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littlebluebox's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

by anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

by beat10 / 03/30/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, our school went to an elementary school to read to the kids. One of the girls in my group asked me if she could switch into another group, so I asked her what was wrong with mine. She said, "Nothing, I wanna be in her group. She's prettier." I was insulted by a kindergartner. FML

by thanksjill / 03/10/2009 at 6:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML

by brows / 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

by Thatkid / 02/18/2009 at 9:29am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

by KWM / 02/12/2009 at 8:28am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

by kittydead / 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals