Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

littlebluebox

Search for a member

littlebluebox

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 156
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About littlebluebox : Bowties are cool and I don't blink.

littlebluebox's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

littlebluebox's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35342) - you deserved it (5371)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

#20532270
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (4851)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50679) - you deserved it (6061)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (9399)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (12397)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29800) - you deserved it (9824)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (6153)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (44841)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (2424)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

#20528351
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (40491)

On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

#20528161
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9516) - you deserved it (42690)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: