About little_sailor : My name is Arielle. :)
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Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40194) - you deserved it (2685)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35513) - you deserved it (6221)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77371) - you deserved it (4437)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46567) - you deserved it (2354)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42952) - you deserved it (4490)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53324) - you deserved it (7617)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43377) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (2446)
On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (2960)
On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (6904)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64885) - you deserved it (8394)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (2102)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (27193)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (1801)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by neighbour hell - Norway (Vest-Agder)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47228) - you deserved it (2965)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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