Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

little_aliceee

Offline (the 02/01/2016 at 4:56am) | Search for a member

little_aliceee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1282
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About little_aliceee : I am not a grammar Nazi; I am a grammar Christian. I like to condemn people for being wrong even when I don't know the rules myself.

little_aliceee's page activity

Visits<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:44pm<b>savannah12345677</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:47pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:03am<b>TommyG493</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:01pm<b>tykatdesigns</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:21pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:20pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:34pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:54am<b>kaitlynb01</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:21am<b>fader48080</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:20am<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:24am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:12pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:04pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:23am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:35pm<b>disgruntledchef</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:40am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:24pm

little_aliceee's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of little_aliceee's badges

little_aliceee's favorite FMLs

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

#21518597
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20185) - you deserved it (5379)

On 01/23/2016 at 3:48pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23576) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

#21507325
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20574) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm - health - by yek (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (8539)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (8543)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25376) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (4349)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29128) - you deserved it (3473)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (3443)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51430) - you deserved it (14656)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: