lissa_jade

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lissa_jade

40Fucked!

lissa_jadelissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2636
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - 8 hours ago<b>thomas5915</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 9:03am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:22pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:51pm<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:24am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 2:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 1:58pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:42pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 8:48pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 12:39pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:47am<b>Seeyounarabish</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 2:45am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:44pm<b>talleser</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:10am<b>BurritoQueen</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:34pm<b>EgyptPride</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:06am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:33am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:36pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 7:58pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 12:43am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:23pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 5:47pm<b>EgyptPride</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:06am<b>dr_akkus</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 5:36pm<b>kevinjiang</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:34pm<b>stalkinator</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:54am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:53pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:01pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 2:18am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 9:53am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:15am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:25pm

lissa_jade's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of lissa_jade's badges

lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML

by bluebride / 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

by embarassed / 05/25/2009 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous