About lissa_jade : i'm melissa.
21 year old student at UNO.
criminal justice/pre-med major and lover of all things chocolate.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (44250)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2346)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60017) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (10883)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (9667)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (2232)
On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (1834)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (5495)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11448) - you deserved it (31199)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40250) - you deserved it (123724)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56898) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93885) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (8828)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (1996)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (49529)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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