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lissa_jade

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lissa_jade

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lissa_jadelissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1402
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa.
22 year old student at UNO.
criminal justice/pre-med major and lover of all things chocolate.

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lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (3881)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (12203)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (18523)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (5022)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (23434)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42669) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (108682)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (33675)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (6436)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (10284)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (48687)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (3106)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69807) - you deserved it (6568)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (12760)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42623) - you deserved it (12790)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)



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