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lissa_jade

Offline (the 05/26/2014 at 10:10pm) | Search for a member

lissa_jade

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa.
22 year old student at UNO.
criminal justice/pre-med major and lover of all things chocolate.

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>Sebastian2022</b> - yesterday at 3:12am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:29pm<b>xIlluminated</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:49am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:12am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:31pm<b>MikeyLean</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:26am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:38pm<b>therealballer21</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:44am<b>Annacakes72</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:10pm<b>SaltyJuice</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:19am<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:52am<b>yonahd18</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 8:47pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Akshay911</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:43pm<b>AFCCT</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:22am<b>allandreaa</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 5:28pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 12:32pm

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lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (552)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47436) - you deserved it (8656)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (11153)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48597) - you deserved it (6354)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47825) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (5269)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48210) - you deserved it (5881)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44168) - you deserved it (5802) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (3808)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (11795)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (17872)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (4870)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (22152)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)



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