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lissa_jade

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lissa_jade

13Fucked!

lissa_jadelissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1951
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>ashley_passion06</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Chinhull</b> - yesterday at 9:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:21am<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:18am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:16pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Skarlun</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:56am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:49am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:01am<b>rallison22</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 2:38pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 12:25am<b>CollinFuchs</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:37pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:57am<b>imkool136</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:01am<b>ryerye942</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:51am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:12pm

Fucked!<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:48pm<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:42am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:16pm<b>rallison22</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:29am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>krishgad</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:19am<b>MBavnsgaard</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:28am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:52am

lissa_jade's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of lissa_jade's badges

lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (7725)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28940) - you deserved it (3033)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17090) - you deserved it (30862)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (29175)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42789) - you deserved it (5069)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49593) - you deserved it (7066)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51480) - you deserved it (9651)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (12784)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51406) - you deserved it (6694)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (4345)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48593) - you deserved it (5671)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (6275)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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