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lissa_jade

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lissa_jade

24Fucked!

lissa_jadelissa_jade
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 May 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2172
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lissa_jade : i'm melissa (:

lissa_jade's page activity

Visits<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:11am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:10pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:00am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:38pm<b>lgarcia1178</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:13am<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:23am<b>thetacosniper</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:00am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:58am<b>roflstomp716</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:23am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 7:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 8:30am<b>lizzeh333</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:31am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:38am<b>Mons</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 8:26pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:25am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Guzziii</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:25pm

Fucked!<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:15am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:25pm<b>PDSot</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 1:34pm<b>emmarawr17</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 9:10am<b>Neut</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:25am<b>tobyw95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:28pm<b>psychedelicdezzy</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:13am<b>dakota133</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:00pm<b>WinterChild</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:54am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:48pm<b>JackHuason</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:42am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:16pm<b>rallison22</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:29am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:57am

lissa_jade's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of lissa_jade's badges

lissa_jade's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML

#21471391
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (1715)

On 09/22/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by gotmilk? - United States (Florida)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (8543)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30302) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (33044)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46732) - you deserved it (29810)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43577) - you deserved it (5153)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50427) - you deserved it (7172)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (9901)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (13273)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52933) - you deserved it (6883)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52448) - you deserved it (4632)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50179) - you deserved it (5813)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)



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