Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lisaint

Search for a member

lisaint

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lisaint : my boyfriend is fucking perfect and someday I'm gonna marry him :D

lisaint's page activity

Visits<b>rejlac</b> - 2 hours ago<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Victormoon</b> - 3 hours ago<b>NerdGirl321</b> - 12 hours ago<b>bjf21</b> - 20 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 22 hours ago<b>utrax</b> - 23 hours ago<b>totallylosing</b> - 24 hours ago<b>therealjc</b> - yesterday at 10:27am<b>Arni792</b> - yesterday at 8:24am<b>pd2902</b> - yesterday at 5:37am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - yesterday at 4:13am<b>brettrb</b> - yesterday at 3:11am<b>pwnapple99</b> - yesterday at 2:01am<b>watermelon1</b> - yesterday at 12:48am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - yesterday at 11:10pm<b>Baucis</b> - yesterday at 10:47pm<b>ylime23456</b> - yesterday at 10:38pm

lisaint's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of lisaint's badges

lisaint's favorite FMLs

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (7893)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53568) - you deserved it (6243)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (17055)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (6039)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (5329)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44362) - you deserved it (5877)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (3780)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46429) - you deserved it (8627)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (7813)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: