About lionandthelamb61 : Even though you can't always see me, I can ALWAYS see you @_@
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (8714)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (4478)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (28599)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (2066)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (2989)
On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (2713)
On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (23580)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (5857)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9793) - you deserved it (43245)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (8575)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (2577)
On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (6158)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (747)
On 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (2196)
On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (1720)
On 11/08/2011 at 12:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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