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linzlina

Offline (the 09/25/2014 at 8:30am) | Search for a member

linzlina

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  • Number of visits : 158
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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linzlina's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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linzlina's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (4876)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (5991)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (4010)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53521) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (4038)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (16723)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44526) - you deserved it (25449)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (9954) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (5100)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (4275)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53912) - you deserved it (7367)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45354) - you deserved it (8836)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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