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linzey

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linzey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7091
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About linzey : im me.

linzey's page activity

Visits<b>hprakash</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:43pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:14am<b>Squtchy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 1:33pm<b>jubiley18</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:17pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 5:02am<b>AntwonKingston</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:25pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 6:22am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:20pm<b>loidnerdy101</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:36pm<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:03am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:22am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 9:54pm<b>laurenlaurenta</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:46pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:05am<b>arachnis1207</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 12:47pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 7:40am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:45pm<b>michelleJ11</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:22pm

linzey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

linzey's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67895) - you deserved it (7616)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
926 comments

I agree, your life sucks (353449) - you deserved it (38782)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (134688)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65011) - you deserved it (15431)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

#579583
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62530) - you deserved it (31825)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm - money - by dude (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79098) - you deserved it (8842)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82257) - you deserved it (15041)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72041) - you deserved it (28303)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

#431427
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83130) - you deserved it (12479)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by JC12345 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (84913)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346000) - you deserved it (32372)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (70062)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136919) - you deserved it (36911)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45919) - you deserved it (241098)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)



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