linzey

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linzey

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7466
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About linzey : im me.

linzey's page activity

Visits<b>uz101</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 8:39am<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:37am<b>hyperman585</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:34pm<b>ejsigusbamao</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:28am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 8:01pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:21pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 1:13am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:32am<b>HazzaStylesCake</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 8:17am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:55pm<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:01am<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:27am<b>boggleelggob</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:39am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:02pm<b>sydstoomuch</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 8:59pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:48pm

linzey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

linzey's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

by esb / 08/13/2009 at 11:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

by sarah_sad / 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

by mrWrong / 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

by dude / 03/24/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2009 at 6:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

by Zoe123 / 03/19/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

by JC12345 / 03/18/2009 at 12:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

by Nikki / 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

by webcammistake / 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy