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linnie_wesker

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linnie_wesker

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linnie_weskerlinnie_wesker
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 14476
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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linnie_wesker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (6660)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47605) - you deserved it (17769)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49008) - you deserved it (4337)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (53839)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49219) - you deserved it (3571)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42840) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49862) - you deserved it (8450)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55064) - you deserved it (5836)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51925) - you deserved it (11211)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53634) - you deserved it (8522)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60459) - you deserved it (4392)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (50010)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (13533)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59995) - you deserved it (3741)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States



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