Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

linnie_wesker

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 9:15am) | Search for a member

linnie_wesker

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 12100
  • Number of comments : 193
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

linnie_wesker's page activity

Visits<b>ThisDirtyDreamer</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>dratz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:03am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ImaKoala</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:51pm<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:59pm<b>UsernameistooLo</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:13am<b>ripjawed</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:09pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:29pm<b>kingkat9</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 11:30pm<b>dalink</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:45am<b>gatorfan122</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 6:20pm<b>NRCB</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:16pm<b>ThatFancyPenn</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 8:43pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:09pm<b>cactusdesu</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:10pm<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:09pm<b>tigglebiddies</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 6:54am

linnie_wesker's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of linnie_wesker's badges

linnie_wesker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (3995)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53736) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

#20829515
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (6639)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm - intimacy - by hunchback of notre bite (woman) - Korea, Republic of

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47391) - you deserved it (17715)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (4227)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49703) - you deserved it (8428)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53926) - you deserved it (5724)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51648) - you deserved it (11156)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60214) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58499) - you deserved it (3627)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (65888)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58684) - you deserved it (10832)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: