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Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (3013)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (3530)
On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (35604)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21828) - you deserved it (3229) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2725)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (3420)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30072) - you deserved it (1847)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (2280)
On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (25089)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (25089)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (25089)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (3811)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Friday 24 May 2013
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