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linnie_wesker

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linnie_wesker
  • Town/Country : Scottsdale
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 10434
  • Number of comments : 193
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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linnie_wesker's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (12628)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35829) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (4409)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (4867)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (13190)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (5960)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46616) - you deserved it (7885)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44850) - you deserved it (2269)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (12853)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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