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Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73360) - you deserved it (6084)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (47001)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)
Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (160704) - you deserved it (10883)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (30177)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (64139)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (12810)
On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47500) - you deserved it (6192)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8580) - you deserved it (58546)
On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (57534)
On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (7144)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48093) - you deserved it (11041)
On 03/11/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by EFFED4LIFE (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61438) - you deserved it (2172)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72363) - you deserved it (24228)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (15275)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51829) - you deserved it (3589)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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