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Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106669) - you deserved it (7120)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9972) - you deserved it (113661)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45740) - you deserved it (5517)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (19396)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53305) - you deserved it (418110)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77119) - you deserved it (7551)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (95168) - you deserved it (11338)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10440) - you deserved it (69939)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73127) - you deserved it (24452)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (46902)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60691) - you deserved it (17790)
On 03/22/2009 at 12:53am - health - by TANT (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (485204)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88218) - you deserved it (4715)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking and to grab a granola bar at work why my boss walked in my office. We were talking for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realize I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16435) - you deserved it (33992)
On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (105907)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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